I'm in love with my BestFriend
by PolarSquirrel
Summary: SPOBY! I don't feel like a real description so there you go. Thats all you need to know. XD
1. Movie Night

Spencer Hastings. Captain of the field hockey team. Academic decathlon team captain. Class president. Straight A student. The best Friend of Toby Cavanaugh.

"What to watch.." Toby said falling on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in hands.

"The Scarlet Letter?" Spencer suggested.

"Again?" Toby asked with a laugh.

"I like it." Spencer said grabbing a handful of popcorn. Toby playfully hit her arm.

"Not until the movie!" He exclaimed. Spencer threw one at him. She laughed when she heard Hanna groan from the other side of the room.

"Will you two just date already?!" Hanna shouted, cradled her own bowl of popcorn. Spencer laughed and punched Toby.

"Yeah why don't we?" She asked jokingly. Toby's face turned red. Spencer laughed and shook her head.

"And we still didn't figure out what to watch!" Caleb shouted from his seat next to Hanna.

"Okay." Toby said getting up and looking at the collection.

"When am I going to get to choose the movie? Hanna whined.

"What do you want to see?" Spencer asked.

"The Fault in our Stars!" Hanna shouted. She laughed when Caleb, Spencer, and Toby groaned. The movie had come out about a week ago and Spencer's pretty sure that Hanna had made her watch it, at least 50 times.

"I swear if I watch that one more time _I _will get cancer!" Caleb groaned from beside her. Hanna hit him as he laughed.

"Okay lets find something we all like." Toby said.

"A zombie movie sounds great." Caleb said. Hanna and Spencer shook their heads.

"Uh, no!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Unless it's romance!" Caleb mocked them. Spencer shook her head laughing.

"Erotic." She whispered seductively. She saw Toby's face redden as Hanna laughed.

"How about this?" Toby asked holding up a movie. Hanna shrugged and fell back into the chair.

"Hanna doesn't care?" Spencer asked jokingly.

"It's just a movie. I'm probably just going to make out with Caleb the whole time anyway." Hanna said matter of factly. Caleb looked at her with a smile.

"Is that so?" He asked. Hanna nodded with a laugh."And suppose I actually wanted to watch the movie?" Caleb asked. Hanna rolled her eyes.

"And miss a chance to make out with me?" Hanna asked. Spencer choked down a laugh.

"Modest, much?" Spencer asked. Hanna nodded with a laugh.

"Of course." She said leaning back in her chair. She laughed while Toby put the movie in the player and tried to get the T.V. To work. After all that had happened in these past few years, Spencer was glad to have a day like this, with friends like this. Spencer leaned back into her chair as she brought her knees up to her chest.

"Wheres Emily?" Toby asked. Spencer looked up.

"Oh yeah, she had a little bit of home problems." Spencer said. Emily's mom had caught her and Maya mid-make out. Emily had sworn the girls to secrecy. Spencer laughed a little. It was funny how the week had played out exactly like Spencer had thought it would.

"Something funny?" Hanna asked jokingly.

"It's just, we're an odd group aren't we?" Spencer asked as Toby sat down. Hanna looked around with a smile.

"Yeah we are." She said leaning into Caleb's side. Spencer glanced up at Toby as the movie started. She never realized it before, but Toby was kinda perfect. She looked away as he glanced down at her. Spencer couldn't help but wonder if he thought the same thing. Spencer pushed the thought away, she was far from perfect. But she couldn't get the idea out of her mind.

/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/\/\\\

_Spencer struggled to steady herself. You'd think at 16 and a half that she'd know how to ice skate, but here she is, clinging onto Toby for dear life._

"_Why did I agree to do this?" Spencer asked teeth chattering._

"_Because it's Christmas and its fun." Toby said with a laugh. Spencer shook her head wildly. "Okay, how about you look cute when it's winter." Spencer blushed a little further._

"_I wouldn't say that." Spencer said quietly._

"_Get in the Christmas spirit!" He said cheerily, as he tightened his grip on her. Spencer laughed a little as she lost her footing stumbling a little. As her knee quivered Toby lost his balance and they both went down. Spencer landed n Toy with a thud and busted out laughing As she and Toby laughed, she realized how lucky she was to have a best friend as great as Toby. Spencer fumbled as she got up, still bubbling with laughter. _

"_I know what to do now." Toby said the laugh still on his face._

"_What?" Spencer asked._

"_Hot chocolate!" He sang out. Spencer laughed as she nodded._

"_I just don't know how I'm going to get across the ice." Spencer said with a laugh. Toby smiled mischievously as he picked her up and skated her across the frozen river. As she looked over his shoulder, laughs erupting out of her like lava, she saw Hanna, her phone pointed at them. Spencer screamed playfully and covered her face, but it was too late. _

As Spencer's phone ringing pulled her back into reality, she put the photo of her and Toby from that day back down onto her desk and glanced down at her phone. Just a Facebook notification. Spencer sighed as she opened it. It was a picture of Toby kissing some girls cheek. Spencer was surprised at the twinge she felt in her stomach. She pushed it aside as she threw her phone down on her bed. She glanced at the picture one more time before storming out of the room.

Spencer didn't really know where she was going but nothing stopped her, once she got to where she was going-the ice cream shop-she ordered a big sundae. When she sat down, she just stared at it or a while. A few minutes later she heard the bell on the door ring, and in Toby walked. His eyes searched the room until he saw her. He started walking towards her as she stared at him, once he got there he sat down.

"That seats taken." She said.

"I knew you'd be here." He said.

"And how did you, exactly?" She asked slightly irritated that he knew her better than she did.

"Because I came to your house and your mom said you left upset, and you come here when you're upset." He said simply, and taking the spoon from her hand. She watched as he took a bite and handed the spoon back to her.

"I'm not upset." She said, clearly upset. Toby sighed and pushed her ice cream away.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing!" She said exasperated. "Just leave me alone!" She exclaimed getting up. Toby just sat there in shock as she walked out of the door. She couldn't believe what she just did, but she couldn't tell him why she was really upset. She couldn't.


	2. Outside the Shop

Toby jumped up to follow her as she ran out of the door. They hadn't fought in 3 years, until today, he thought. Spencer was just standing outside of the door breathing heavily.

"Spencer.." He whispered.

She looked at him and he saw a flicker of love in her eyes, but then they turned mad. And then they turned sad.

"I couldn't just leave it like that." Spencer said.

"How did you know I would follow you?" Toby asked.

"Because you're you." Spencer said.

"And what is that?" He asked, curious.

"Perfect." She whispered. It was times like these that he had to fight the urge to grab her face and kiss her. He never did because she would never feel the same way. Why would she ever like him? He was Toby her screw up best friend, and she would never see him any other way.

"I'm far from perfect." He said sitting on the bench. It's true. Spencer had been there for a lot of the mess, and she of all people should know that he is just a factory mess up. Spencer laughed as she sat down next to him. Not a laugh full of the love it usually had, but a tired laugh.

"Toby when are you going to open your eyes and see that you are amazing. And anyone would be lucky to hold you in their arms. Anyone would die just to feel your lips on theirs." Spencer said.

"That's not true." he said. How could she say that to him, when she is the only one he wants. But she wouldn't know that. God, every second that he was around her the urge became stronger, he wanted to kiss her. He wanted her to know how he feels.

"God, Toby! How can you just say that when I have been here, waiting or you to realize that I want to be the one in your arms, I want to be the one th-" She was saying but Toby cut her off with his lips. He couldn't hold it in. Spencer sat their stiff, until her brain finally caught up with the outside. It was if when their lips met they instantly connected on a level much stronger than before, he could feel her essence and her emotions. He could feel her. It was like they were made to be together, like a jigsaw puzzle. When Toby pulled away Spencer blinked a couple of times before she began talking again. Typical Spencer, never lets anything get in her way.. "that feels your lips on mine." she whispered, a smile playing on her lips.

"I have wanted to do that for a long time." Toby said with a laugh. He watched as Spencer's cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink. Spencer grabbed his hand as she laughed.

"Me too." She said. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined this happening. And he loved it. He loved the feel of her hand in his, her lips on his, and just her in general. "I have an idea!" Spencer said, a devilish grin on her face.

"What?" He asked.

"You know how Hanna loves to pull pranks?" Spencer asked. Toby laughed.

"Yes." He said, he had been the target of many Hanna pranks.

"Well lets prank her." She said.

"How?" Toby asked. He wasn't really the jokester type. Spencer's smile only grew as she leaned over to whisper in his ear.

**HANNA POV**

"I hate you so much!" Spencer screamed and pushed Toby out of the way.

"Well if you feel that way." Toby shouted. Toby's face looked so pained, this was killing him inside, Hanna knows these things. Despite what people say she is very empathetic. She wanted them to be together sooo bad! #SPOBY.

"I do. Because I have been fighting myself with my emotions, because... I-I.. I love you!" Spencer screamed running out of the door. Oh my god! This was the hardest thing to watch, two of the people you love most in life self destruct. We were all- Caleb was with his mom- watching a movie, like we do every Saturday, Spencer and Toby were whispering and then all hell broke loose.

"And what do I care, if I'm just some player!" Toby shouted back, running out of the door. Hanna just sat on the couch, jaw on the ground, eyes bulging. After a couple of minutes Spencer and Toby walked in and took a bow.

"We got you soo good!" Spencer said in-between bursts of laughter, beside her Toby was cracking up too. Hanna narrowed her eyes as she got up.

"I'll get you back." She said before strutting out of the door. They'll get whats coming. She looked back as the door closed, only to see Toby lean down and kiss Spencer. Hanna's jaw dropped. THEY WERE FINNALY TOGETHER! Hanna thought. She squealed as she ran home.

**Heyy I don't know if I like this one soo much, so just let me know! I feel like when ever I write I story its never as good as the first chapter so please please let me know if this goes downhill! Hehe tell me what you want to see happen! Just not another pregnancy, if you wsnt that read New Girl XD Love ya beauties! And 7 reviews on the first chapter? I feel sooooooooooo loved! Thank you so much I hope you like it, and tell me if you don't!**


	3. HORRIBLE :(

Friday nights were movie nights. That's how it has always been for as long as I could remember. Hanna, Caleb, Toby, and I, all best friends having a fun time together to celebrate making it though the week. But everything went awry, and Hanna and Caleb had their own date nights on Friday. Every Friday of fun, pizza, and movies all thrown away because of one stupid- not even funny- prank. That's why Toby and I were alone in my living room trying to decide which horrible film we would endure tonight.

"Anything _but_ that." He said with a smile. I frowned, this was when Hanna or Caleb usually inserted their two cents. I glanced over my shoulder to the love seat where they usually lounged and sighed. I looked at Toby and grabbed the movie.

"This movie sucks." I said, falling back onto the couch. His smile grew as he sat next to me.

"And the Scarlette Letter is better?" He asked. I smiled and opened my mouth to reply when my phone buzzed. I frowned as I picked it up, who would try and talk on a Friday? I glanced up at Toby as I unlocked it. He smiled as he stood up and began to sift through the many movies I own. I shut off my phone, not wanting to look at whatever it was. I brought my knees up to my chest and pulled the popcorn to my side.

"I say we can watch whatever you would like." I said with a small smile. He glanced at me before shrugging and picking up a movie. "What do you think Hanna and Caleb are doing now?" I asked, my whisper of a smile disappearing. Toby frowned and walked towards me.

"Probably reminiscing at the time where he hung out with us." He said. I frowned.

"Or, she's having a great time with him and they're, making love or something." I said. Toby's jaw slacked and he jut sat there with a look of shock on his face. A slow mile crept across my face as I leaned into Toby's side. She smiled slightly, hesitation apparent on his very, very, very beautiful face. After a few seconds, my smile fell into a frown again. Toby wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Hey, there's no way that she won't forgive you. Anyone would be missing out not having you in their lives." He said quietly. I nodded, but still, a nagging feeling sat at the bottom of my stomach.

"Not if she decides lying is a good enough reason to end our relationship." I said. He glanced at me worryingly and squeezed my shoulders.

"What did you lie about?" He asked. I looked up at him hesitantly.

"You." I whispered. He looked at me questioningly and shook his head.

"H-how did you lie about me?" He asked. I looked up at him and frowned.

"How could've I had not? We all know Hanna likes to solve problems and match make. If I told her about my feelings for you, everything would be ruined." I said. He frowned slightly. "Look, I know you probably don't feel the same, and that's okay. We can just go on as normal, because it doesn't matter." I said all in one breath. I looked up at Toby, trying to conceal the tears that threatened to spill. He glanced at me before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. My eyes widened in surprise as I sat there before he pulled away. I blinked, looking up at his smiling face. He nodded before standing up.

"Spencer, I love you." He whispered. I sat there, my eyes wide

"T-Toby." I whispered. He knelt next to me and cupped my face in his hands.

"When I first met you I knew, I knew that you were something special. I knew that I wanted to know you so bad. It's okay, I know you now, you take your time. When you're ready. I'll always be here, you never have to be alone." He said before standing up. I smiled slightly as he began to walk away.

"Toby? I called out. He paused and glanced at me. "I love you."

**Hello awesome people reading this right now! There are a few things I want to apologize for.**

** sucky and short chapter**

** long wait for this chapter**

** horrible story**

** fact that I wrote this chapter 4 different times before I finally settled on this**

** of my other stories **

**so, yeah. I wrote this chapter so many times, yet I couldn't find the right thing. I don't think this is it, but I wanted to post something because I felt so bad. Also every time I log in, I have a massive brain fart and try to log in so many times, failing because I'm using the wrong email. Awkward...**

**Who would read an Emison book if I posted it? I already wrote 8 chapters on wattpad, so I might put them on here also. :3**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE **

**But not forever. You can't get rid of me that easily.**


	4. Intruder

Toby was sitting on Spencer's fancy and plush couch. He never noticed how soft it was. And the color is nice too.  
"Toby! Stop studying my couch and help me!" Spencer exclaimed from the other side of the room. Spencer was standing on her tippy toes and trying rehang her curtains that had fallen abruptly.  
"Yeah, that's not my strong suit..." Toby said with a smile. Spencer narrowed her eyes at him.  
"Stop lying you useless ball of turds and come help me!" She said quietly. Toby stood up at once and nodded heavily. That voice was her scary voice. Whenever she used that voice, you knew she meant business.

"Helping!" He sung out as he climbed on the stepping stool that Spencer was on seconds before. He lifted his arm and placed the pole where it was before. "There." He said quietly before stepping down. Spencer batted her eyelashes and wrapped her arms around him.  
"My hero!" She said in a fake voice. He laughed and pulled them both on the couch.  
"This is nice." Toby said. Spencer looked up.  
"Whats nice?" She asked, still smiling.  
"Us." He said simply. Spencer lowered her head and rested it on his chest.  
"It is very nice." She replied. Toby began to say something when the lights shut off. "That's weird.." Spencer said quietly. Toby stood up and looked around.  
"It's probably the breaker... I can go check." Toby said before turning towards the direction of the garage. Spencer jumped up and grabbed his arm.  
"I'll come too." She said quietly. Toby nodded as they walked towards the garage. "I don't know why the power would even go out, we just had everything checked." She wondered aloud.  
"Unless... unless someone turned it off." Toby said quietly. He felt Spencer's hand tighten around his as they walked through the house.  
"Then that means someone else is here..." Spencer whispered. "It's so big in here, they could be anywhere."  
"Or, the power could have just gone out." Toby said calmly, but he wondered if he believed that himself.  
"Hopefully." Spencer whispered, but her hand was still shaking. It was so quiet after that, Toby could hear Spencer breathe. Once they reached the garage Toby placed hi hand on the knob, praying that it was just the power. He twisted it, but it wouldn't budge. He kept pulling and twisting and pushing but it was locked. "Toby... what is it?" Spencer asked quietly.  
"Its, uh, locked." Toby said before turning to face Spencer. Even in the dim light he could see her scared expression. "What?" He asked slowly.  
"We never lock that door." Spencer said with a scared shake in her voice. Toby turned his head towards the door and frowned.  
"Grab a knife we can..." He said but stopped after he heard glass shatter.  
"Toby..?" Spencer's scared voice rang out. "What was that?"  
"I don't know.." Toby said before pulling Spencer to the front door.  
"Where are we going, Toby?" Spencer asked as they walked.  
"I don't know? My house?" Toby said quietly.  
"Shouldn't we call the cops?" Spencer asked in a whisper. Toby paused and looked at her.  
"You're right." He said before running through the house to get the phone. He knew he'd made a mistake when he heard her scream. "Spencer!" He shouted darting through the house to where she was. Spencer was standing stiff, as a person in a black hood stood behind her holding a gun. Before he had time to act, the hooded person started cracking up.  
"You.. should've... seen... your...faces..." The hooded figure that sounded a lot like a blonde idiot they knew said inbetween bursts of laughter. Spencer frowned before turning and pulling down their hood to reveal a very giggly Hanna.  
"Hanna! You bi-"

"Language!" Hanna cut Spencer off with a laugh. Spencer growled and stomped over to the couch.

"Wow..." Toby said quietly. Hanna smiled triumphantly before the power flickered back on. Caleb sauntered in and wrapped his arm around Hanna as Spencer jumped up.  
"You!" She exclaimed. "You were in on this?!"  
"What can I say?" Caleb said before blowing on his nails with a smirk. Spencer huffed and fell back on the couch before Toby walked over and wrapped his arms around her.

**Hey I am trying to update a lot less erratically so I might do this story every Monday or every other Monday... hmmm decisions decisions **

**Anyway this is short, I just got my laptop back and I wanted to update because so you guys didn't think I died or anything **

**I don't know where this story is going because I basically did everything I wanted to within the span of this story so I might have to add more drama... mwahaha**


	5. What is wrong with my life

I growled as my phone lit up for the umpteenth time. Can't she take a hint?  
"Are you going to answer your phone?" Toby asked as I gritted my teeth.  
"No." I said quietly while flicking through the channels on TV. Usually the documentary channel was entertaining but right now it was boring.  
"Why not?" Toby asked wile staring at me. "She's your best friend."  
"Because." I said while crossing my arms over my chest, I know I sound like an 8 year old, but I still get that chill inside of me whenever the lights turn off.  
"Because why?" He asked after shutting off the television.  
"I was watching that!" I whined. He smiled for a few seconds before sighing. My phone was going off again, but before I could grab it Toby picked it up.  
"Helooooo?" He sung out into the phone. "Why, yes, in fact, she's right here." He said before handing me the phone. I glared at him as I took the phone.  
"Hi." I said.  
"OH MY GOD SPENCER! I THOUGHT YOU DIED OR SOMETHING!" Hanna's loud voice sounded through the phone.  
"Gosh, Han, I'm surprised I'm not deaf." I said shooting a glance at Toby.  
"Yeah, I'm glad, well anyways, I have news." Hanna said fastly.  
"Wha-"  
"So I went to the Brew because I was going to meet Caleb, but his dad called so he called a raincheck, but I was really craving some coffee cake so I decided to go anyway."  
"Is there a point to this story?" I asked before Hanna rushed on again.  
"Yes, dummy, ANYWAY, I was ordering and the Barista was like, _don't I know you, _ and I was like, _no. _ But I turns out she's new to our school and just started working there and we made plans for later today to go to the Grill and you should come." Hanna rushed out. I smiled slightly before looking at Toby.  
"Actually, Toby and I had plans..." I said quietly. I felt a pang, because as much as I wanted to be mad at my dumb blonde friend, I couldn't.  
"NO I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO GO!" Toby yelled from over my shoulder. I smiled as Hanna laughed.  
"Then I guess I'll see you at 5ish." She said happily.  
"I guess you will." I said before hanging up.  
"See. I knew you should've talked to her." Toby said with a smile.  
"If you insist, but I would've answered anyway." I said with a frown.  
"Of course, I didn't doubt that." He said with a huge grin. I groaned an scooted away.  
"You're mean." I whined. He shrugged.  
"I know." He said before I threw a pillow at him.  
"OWWWW" He exclaimed, "How can a pillow hurt so much?" He whimpered as I laughed.  
"You expected any different?" I asked with a smirk.  
"I don't know, I kinda expected you to throw like a girl." He said with a slight frown. I gasped dramatically and swung my hand to my heart.  
"I am so hurt, and ashamed!" I exclaimed. I didn't wait for a respond before I jumped up. "I should probably get ready, I do have to get ready considering its 4ish." I said while Toby frowned.  
"Fine. Meanie." He said as he jumped up. I walked over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  
"Bye poop-face." I said with a small smile. Once he was gone I ran up to my room.

_Now time to get ready. _

**Sorry for the really short and poop chapter! I realized that today was Monday five minutes ago and I had not posted a chapter. Yay me. Anyways I had started a chapter but my computer like broke or something, the screen was gray so I had to restart it and I totally forgot so I whipped this up real quick. Next Monday I'll try to make it extra long and better and I think I changed this to first person from third, if I didn't... disregard that statement... :) **


	6. The Drama

**Heyy about what I do in this chapter... I'll say more at the an at the end, but I felt like some drama so, hey, don't hate me...**

I smiled as I climbed into my car for the first time in a while. After everything had happened...before, I'd been to scared to actually drive. And that sucked, because while I'm driving I feel a felling that is hard to replicate. It's like I'm free, actually free. I've spent a great deal of my life living under Melissa's enormous shadow, and there's only two times where I don't have to worry about being the best or winning, I just have to be me. When I'm driving I experience that, I feel Melissa's perfect shadow fade away and I'm truly just Spencer, also when I'm with Toby. I feel like I don't have to try around him. I get to be myself and only that because he won't judge me, and he likes me for who I am. Imperfect Spencer. It's funny how, I, the most _un-_perfect person, is loved by Toby, the most perfect person I've ever known. I guess the saying, opposites attract, is more than just the sciencey way. I looked through the darkened window and sighed. There was so much mess in my life, and Toby was like the waterproof case you can put on your phone. I try not to think about sophomore year, but sometimes it just creeps into my head and bombards me with all these memories. Bad memories that I prefer to keep locked up in a safe with the password buried far away somewhere.

I opened the car door once I pulled in at the coffee shop. A million images flashed through my mind but I pushed them away. _No. This can't happen. _ I shut my eyes as I walked into the quaint place and took a deep breath. I looked around slowly until I saw Hanna's bright smile. She looked over her shoulder and our eyes locked.  
"Spence!" She exclaimed as she jumped up. A small smile spread across my face as she ran over and wrapped her arms tightly around me.  
"Hey Han." I chocked out. She pulled away and smiled.  
"Oh god, I haven't seen you in so long! Are you taller? Is that a mustache?" Hanna blabbed as she pulled me to the table.  
"God, Han, you saw me 3 days ago." I said with a smile.  
"Too long!" She chirped. "Anyways, I bought you a coffee and some pie."  
My smile fell as my eyes landed on the girl sitting at the table. She looked up with a bashful smile as I approached. He black hair fell in small waves down her back, and her broad shoulders suggested she was a swimmer.  
"H-hey." She said quietly. I smiled slightly and sat down across from her. "I'm Emily."  
"Oh, Hi Emily, I'm Spencer."  
"Oh, I know. We have Mr. Fitz together, first period." I winced at his name, it wasn't that long ago when he and.. Aria, oh god, its happening again. I shut my eyes and took a breath.  
"Spence, are you okay?" Hanna asked quietly. I nodded as I looked at her.  
"Just a headache, I hit my head on the wall yesterday." I said with a forced smile. I don't know how this hit me more than the other girls, didn't they love her just as much? Hanna nodded uneasily and went back to her pie. "Oh, Emily.. I've never seen you in Mr... Language arts." I said with a crooked smile.  
"I'm new here." She said with a coy smile. "I moved from Texas, I heard Rosewood High had an state of the art Swim Program."  
"Oh, so you're a swimmer?" I asked quietly.  
"Yep, best back home." She said with a proud smile. I reached over to grab my coffee when to hands grasped my shoulder. I let out a shriek before whipping around. My eyes landed on Toby's half amused half concerned face. I lowered my eyes and smiled.  
"You shouldn't scare me like that." I said quietly. He frowned and pulled a chair up next to me.  
"Sorry, I just wanted to surprise you."  
"Who's this?" Emily asked with a big smile.  
"Oh that hot guy? That's Toby." Hanna said with a wink. My mouth popped open and I laughed.  
"He's average." I said in a monotone. Toby gasped and held his hand to his heart.  
"That hurt, Spence." He said as I glanced over at Emily. She was staring at Toby with starstruck eyes. I wanted to pull Toby away from her eyes, but that felt petty. I needed to be a better person. "Well actually we should go."  
"Oh, is Caleb already there?" Hanna asked with an excited grin. Toby nodded.  
"Well, he's actually in the car." Toby replied. Hanna jumped up abruptly and smiled.  
"I'll be back then. Hanna needs some lovin'." She said happily. I laughed as she ran out. I glanced over at Emily's slight frown.  
"Sorry, Emily." I said with a fake frown/ I couldn't wait to leave this place and be back in my house. I thought it'd be easy to go out and be around people gain, but all I want to do now is curl up and hide. It had slowly became easier for me away from the safeness of my house, but I guess I bit off more than I could chew. I watched as Hanna airily bounced in and stood by her empty plate.  
"Caleb said that _I _can choose the movie today." She said with a happy smile. I groaned, I mean, how could I not? Knowing Hanna we'll be watching TFIOUS _again. _My delicate brain just can't handle that movie one more time. We all simultaneously looked at Emily, as if just realizing she was still here. She had this lost puppy look in her eyes as she stared at Toby, and then Hanna, and then me. Hanna's face melted as she whipped towards Toby.  
"Can she hand out with us, _please?_" She pleaded. Toby looked at me with a smile before focusing on Hanna once again. "Just for one movie! I promise she'll be good!"

Emily puffed out her lower lip and batted her long eyelashes. Toby sighed as he looked over at me. He could probably see the antsy look in my eyes because he came over and took my hand.  
"Hey, Spence, I know just how hard it is for you to let people in, especially after Aria." He said encouragingly, but I couldn't stop myself from wincing at her name. "Hey, hey, it's okay. She hurt you, she hurt us all, but even more herself. There wasn't anything at all we could've done, and it's okay to admit that your still haunted."  
"I'm okay, seriously. It's okay, I like her." I said with a false smile. I hated lying to Toby, I hated it. But he didn't need to worry. Hanna didn't need to worry. "But I do have to use the bathroom." I said with a smile before standing up. I tried not to listen to their protests as I rushed towards the beige colored doors. I felt every piece of sanity I had slip away as I ran into a random stall.

_1..2..3..  
_Thats what she told me to do, count, whenever I felt myself slipping.

_5..6..7.._

Ever since what happened with Aria, I've had times where I lose control. Usually I'm at my house, and all I need to do is curl up and wait it out. But this time it's different. I fell back against the stall wall and shut my eyes.  
_10..11..12_

I started to panic when I heard the door swing open. My mind flashed to high heels clomping through the empty halls. My heart pounded in my chest at the thought of the year _it _happened. I kept my eyes shut tight as the stall door creaked open.  
_"Ready or not... here I come."  
_"No! No no no!" I shouted sliding to the ground and pulling my hands over my head. "Please no!" I shouted as I thrashed my head around wildly. I quieted as two strong arms were secured around my waist.  
"Spencer, shhh, it's okay.. I'm here now." Toby's voice shattered my illusion. I whimpered as I fell into his hold. I wanted to be normal again, I wanted to relieve my friends of their constant worrying.  
"Toby." I whispered.  
"Shhh." He whispered, leaning his chin on the top of my head. "It's all okay now."

I rolled over in my bed and gasped when I saw Toby's brilliant blue eyes staring at me.  
"Oh!Uh Toby." I exclaimed uncertainly.  
"I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay." He said quietly. A small smile played on my face.  
"That's sweet." I said quietly. I still had that voice ringing in my head and felt like I might barf, so it was good having him here. Everything was easier with him here. I shut my eyes as I felt his body shift.

_Nothing can ever be the same again._

_I saw the looks of terror on their faces as we pulled out our phones.  
"Game on, Bitches.." Aria read aloud, with a tremor in her voice, but she wasn't looking at her phone. We all looked to where her gaze was to the window.  
"Aria? Are you okay?" Hanna asked quietly. Aria's head snapped towards us.  
"No one is safe." She said, her voice steely._ **This was spur of the taco...** **I wanted drAmA and I want Aria to be A on the show... Don't Hate, appreciate  
Tell me what you think about this Traumatized Spencer, and if I should continue it or not.. ** **When I originally wrote the rough draft on Friday I had a whole lot more in the bathroom with her and Toby, but it seemed too weird so tell me what you think  
LOVE YOU! **


	7. Out of the Bed

7 whole days. I've been lying in bed for seven fricking days. I wanted so badly to feel the sun on my face, and the ground beneath my feet. Of course, my friends had come and gone, visiting me and bringing me food, but I need vitamin D god dannnnngit!  
"I hope you didn't miss me too much!" Hanna called out in her usual cheery voice as she walked in.  
"Trust me, I didn't." I said with a tight smile. "Anyways, don't you think it's time I get to go out in the sun?"  
"Not until Toby gives us the all clear." Hanna said, settling in beside me. "But don't worry, I have trashy magazines, cheesy chick-flicks, and chocolate!"  
"I'm not going through a breakup, Han. Although I wouldn't mind breaking up with this bed. I'm pretty sure my body had fossilized under these blankets." I said with a frown.

"That's not my problem." Hanna said dismissively as she leafed through a magazine.

"Why do I have to stay n bed! I'm not crazy, and I'm not a prisoner." I exclaimed.

"Ask Toby." She replied.

"Why does it matter! Toby doesn't understand, and he certainly doesn't get to tell me what to do." I said stubbornly.

"He cares about you, we all do." Hanna said, putting down the weeks latest trash. "We want to help you, but we can't until you let us."  
"I don't _want _help. What I _want_, isto be normal again." I replied.

"Spence, you were never normal. Before this, you were extraordinarily smart, not that you aren't now, it's just you put that on the back burner." Hanna said, causing me to frown in thought. "You went through a traumatic experience and it's okay to be scared, that's why you have us. Your friends."

"I can never get in to UPenn. I failed every class this semester." I said sullenly. "Besides, I' not sure that I'd even want to now."

"UPenn doesn't make you, _you make you._ So if you want to lie in bed for the rest of your life and refuse our help, that's okay. Or you can get out of your bed, walk outside and feel the sun while you talk to Toby and I." She said before standing up. "We'll find out your decision soon enough."

"I, uh.." I whispered as she closed the door behind her as she left. I took the chance to sit up and cringed as the sheets came up with me. I've been in bed far too long. I peeled the sheets off of me as I stood and stretched my unused muscles. "I make me." I chanted over and over again in my head as I walked slowly to my dresser and pulled out a new set of clothes.

-)-)-(-(

After a quick shower I was standing in front of the door, preparing myself for what's to come. I don't want help. I don't want to be saved, I just want to be me. I feel so hopeless and lost, and idiotic for needing help. But I'm tired, I'm tired of fighting and being scared. It's been longer then I care to admit since I actually enjoyed myself. I've only gotten a little ways there with Toby, and that may be wrong because sometimes I can't tell myself I love him, because if he was the best than I should feel safe around him.

"No." I muttered to myself. "I am in love with Toby Cavanaugh."

"I'd hope so, because I'd love to sink my claws into him. Mmmm, tasty." A hauntig voice called from behind me. My breathe caught in my throat as I turned to see Aria standing there with an evil smirk.

"A-Aria. What are you d-doing here?" I asked quietly.

"Can't I come visit a dear old friend?" She asked with a puffed out lip.

"No.. No, you're dead." I said, shaking my head. "Get out!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, poor, naive Spencer. I am dead but I don't want to leave." She said with a snicker. I shook my head even more frantically as she walked closer.

"NO, NO, NO! ARIA YOU'RE DEAD!" I shouted as her smile faded and she disappeared. My breathing evened as the realization hit me. _I need help. _I opened the door and walked slowly to the back door. I unlocked it and looked around at the pair lounging in chairs. Toby looked up at the sound and his eyes lit up at the sight of me. He jumped up and opened the door with a huge smile.  
"Spence!" He exclaimed and I couldn't help but smile. Soon my smile faded and I couldn't stop the tears.

"You're right, Toby. I need help." I whispered. Toby frowned slightly as he pulled me in his arms and squeezed.

"You're okay, you just need to face your fears. I love you." He whispered.

"I s-saw her." I whispered, shaking in his arms. "Toby, I don't know what I'd do without you, I can't.. just please don't leave me alone again."

"I won't." He whispered into my hair. "I promise."

"I love you."

**Sorry for the lack of update! I will try to update all of my books but sorry for the shortness of this, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not dead!**

**I signed up for marching band today... ah.**

**Anyways IM GOING TO BE IN HIGHSCHOOL NEXT YEAR GOD I'M NOT READY FOR THAT!\**

**BUT I LOVE YOU PEEPS! REVIEW AND CRAP I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM BYE XX**


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